Thursday 30 January 2014

the Pretension of the Theater

The way I see it, a little Pretension never hurt anyone. And what a better way to dabble in a bit of pretension then to get all dolled up and head to the London theater.

Musicals make life fun. And live Broadway musicals are an extravagant luxury that not everyone experiences in their lifetime. Which is a shame. And a musical centered around The Wizard of Oz? Well that's just the most wonderful production I can personally think of.  


Wicked was my first ever Broadway musical. And it most certainly lived up to all the hype surrounding the musical. It was an experience like none other. The stage design, music, the actors, all incredible down to the last tiny detail. 


I always did like the Wicked Witch.  


Ironically a week after i experienced Wicked at the Apollo Victoria Theater the balcony collapsed onto the audience below.


During my limited stint within the Pretension circles I also added Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to my theater repertoire. Brilliant. Simply, utterly brilliant. The sets made the show.  


Being a Tourist in Every Sense of the Word

One of the great things in life is being able to participate in the wonderfully annoying practice called tourism. Locals hate it but when you're the tourist there is a brilliance to it. It's the prefect excuse to have your over sized cameras strung around your neck and glued to your eye. Ostentatious paper maps stuffed in bags. And wear out of date clothes and not feel self conscious. It's truly marvelous.

London had my tongue permanently protruding from my mouth. The architecture was a simply magnificent sight that needs to be experienced by all. Over and over again if possible.


The London Eye, while overrated, is still a dominating landmark that has a longer line than a Star Trek convention on a good day. Stepping on to the slowly moving glass dome is just that little thrill of adrenaline you need to get you through the speed, or lack there of, of the over sized wheel. The sights are unique in all honesty. The London Eye simply is a must.

My first look at the eye
   
London with all it's conveniently placed Tube stops make sight seeing an easy task. Right across from the London Eye, we are awestruck by the detailed building of Big Ben. It seems to jump up out of nowhere when you exit the closets Tube station. To be completely honest I didn't even realise it was in front of me until my sister told me to lift my head. It was bigger then I thought it would be, not surprising considering the name. I think I stared at it for more minutes than should be healthy. Absorbing every detail of the building I had been longing to gaze upon for years, in the literal sense.  
my camera struggling to obtain Ben in his entirety

Hyde Park is truly a wonderland in winter. Three of my nights were taken hostage within the wonderland known as winter. Held within it's removable walls was everything one needed from a night of spontaneity. Christmas markets. Show rides screaming out Christmas jingles. A beer hall. Beer. a revolving carousel bar. Heavenly, Heavenly food. Beer, that definitely needs a second mention. The sign, for once, was not false advertisement. It was a brilliant wintry night and it was certainly my wonderland.

A wonderland on a sight seers destination
The Queen's Guard were as unexciting as I had expected them to be. Granted it was winter and the palace was closed, the vibrant red uniform swapped for the dull colours of winter. I do, however have great admiration for their strength in their composure. No movement whatsoever, except to stretch what must be their incredibly sore legs. When i had found myself lost in London I accidentally came across what must be the back (or at least connected to) Buckingham Palace and two of the Queen's Guard statues. I'll admit, I was beginning to become a little panicky and and i wondered for just a fleeting second, what would happen if I broke down crying, desperately lost and begging for help? Would they move? Give me verbal directions? or just watch my quickly come apart at the seams? I thought about it, Fleetingly before coming to the conclusion that I'm just not that good of an actor. The palace was pretty though.
standing. silently. standing. still.

Oxford Street. Big brands. Big buildings. Fancy people strutting around in fancy clothes that make you feel completely inadequate concerning your own wardrobe and posture. It's a positively exhilarating walk, so long as you don'd gt yourself splattered by one of the countless red double decker buses. If there is one store to enter it would have to be H&M. fashionably 'in' clothes at affordable prices. And don't worry about finding one. They'll find you. H&M stores are everywhere, sometimes two on the same strip. Mental those Londoners.  



Trafalgar Square, appears to me, as a glorified watering hole that you can't even drink from. Not so much of a pity that rule however. For all it's hype i'd say it lives up to it's reputation. Baffling architecture, a calm yet busy atmosphere that I personally enjoyed. Beautiful by day Beautiful by night.  


Piccadilly Circus certainly has the 'bright lights' of the big bustling city. The atmosphere is intoxicating. I will say one important thing on the subject of Piccadilly Circus: M&M World. Enough said correct? It is heaven on earth.

the greatest place on earth

The Tube in all it's Brilliance

England is a magical city. 

Possibly the magical city.


My magical city at the very least.


There is a vast majority of people who share the opinion that England, during the winter (and most other seasons for that matter) is one big bleak, dreary, life sucking mass of land. 

I think its beautiful. 
I hold the opinion that the grey overcast skies, biting chill of the breeze and complete darkness by five PM is simply marvelous. I could spend my days there indefinitely. If I had the cash to back me up. 

It's no lie that London is expensive. The lush shops and fine dining come at some cost, but everyone can splurge when they're on a holiday. Shhh...we won't tell anyone.


If you're like me and every building is like a work of art and has to be photographed from every angle then you'll be in London for a long while, and most likely get lost. Very lost.

If you're like me then you'll probably get lost for hours.
London may appear like a fairly spread out city, but as i discovered, if you walk long enough you might just find yourself at every major tourist attraction at one point or another. 

The prideful feeling achieved when one gets themselves from their hostel and to Oxford Street with no hassle, thanks to their trusty iPhone, is a great one. When, however that iPhone dies the feeling is not so fantastic. My pride lasted approximately an hour before I began making my way back to the hostel and found myself walking in circles. No matter which turn I took I somehow magically landed back in Oxford Street as if I was trapped in a London specific wormhole. 

I can't say it wasn't interesting. I found myself not only chancing upon Soho and Trafalgar Square, but Piccadilly Circus and Buckingham Palace. It's when you end up in streets that have doorman wearing top hats that you know you took a really wrong turn. 
What took me multiple days to see previously I accidentally saw in the space of a few hours.

The one thing that I believe everyone adores about London is the Tube. The most well executed public transport I've every experienced. Now the Tube is a place impossible to get lost in. I found it convenient, relatively priced with an Oyster Card and always, always on time. Simply brilliant. 


There is one thing, however, that still confuses my obviously simple mind concerning the tube. The Tube contains two separate systems of travel, if you will, the Underground and the Overground. The Underground is red and the Overground is orange. And yet while they have an Underground and an Overground the Underground goes above ground. Now how does that make any sense at all? It's a conundrum that I doubt I'll ever riddle out. But I do believe I'm okay with that. For now.                  

     

The Money Problem

I'm positive i'm not the only one that has the most enticing dreams of a world not reliant on how much money is in your wallet. 'Oh that top looks perfect on you, here take it free of charge,' 'a plane ticket to Italy you say? the plane has countless seats, here you go, we have more where that came from.' I'd even settle for the good old days of trade. 'I'll give you two chickens for that hunting knife...or your daughter, either one will do.' A deliciously twisted version of reality.     

Now there was once a time, long ago in my history, when money wasn't the all consuming black hole of our universe and you were a king with two dollars in your palm. It was Mum and Dad that you went to with all money related problems and nine times out of ten you came out the winner of compromise. I wouldn't even be able to count the number of times i traded household chores for a couple of bucks. We all, however, grow up. Unfortunately. Though it's the memories you create along the way that makes it all worth while.


It's an unfortunate fact of life that money rules. You can't get around it. Whether you're saving to travel half way around the world or you're just in the mood for a block of chocolate. For young adults that currently have no long term commitments, bills to pay or time consuming responsibilities the money problem becomes a little simpler. Though not if your planning an outrageously expensive trip to the UK and Europe. Now while this may be looking like one massively uninteresting ramble about my money woes, it's not...well not entirely. I did it. I got myself to both the UK and Europe for an extended period of time, and you could say that I was pretty chuffed at my saving efforts. 


Travelling cheaply is a necessity for most people. Hostels are your best friends people. They were definitely my Saviour. They scare some, the thought of sleeping in a room full of strangers. While yes sometimes it can be awkward maneuvering in such tight quarters, its the warm bed that you need to focus on. A place to crash after a long day of sightseeing for twenty pounds or less? Yes please.

Don't eat above your means. And in saying that you can't go passed British pub food. Cheap and utterly delicious. Its also a convenient place to mingle with the locals and meet some characters, like that guy next to you creating crazy billboard signs on his laptop. Mumbling to himself and cursing his mistakes all the way.
Alcohol will be your downfall. It's inevitable. All us twentysomethings forking out for our booze. Id suggest making an alcohol fun on the side with that one, I mean the alcohol can't be sacrificed. Bedding and food sure, but not the booze.   

I spent my money. Sometimes it felt good, other times not so much but putting that headache aside, its the stories you bring back that makes the money spent seem insignificant. 


Worth it.  


Wednesday 29 January 2014

The Taxi with it's Illusive Light

Hailing a London Taxi is practically a rite of passage for tourists.

If not for the simple fact that it's a fancy London taxi, then for the entertaining characters the drivers turn out to be.


Let me be straight: The London taxi is a T.A.R.D.I.S!


 Honestly. I'm being completely, professionally serious. Well...maybe T.A.R.D.I.S-esque. I have a feeling they won't get you through time and space in time for a very important date. But they certainly are bigger on the inside. Nice and spacious. And they can even hold three women all with too much luggage each, uncomfortably.


Now i'll be honest, for me at least the task of waving down a speeding taxi was a daunting thought. The idea of it was scary enough. Standing by the side of a busy road with my arm stuck up in the air, waving it about like a lunatic while I watch the black car zoom past me with a giggling passenger in the back. Nightmare. It's at that point, seeing the strangers lips tilt upwards, that you realise it. The light wasn't on. That illusive light that screams, "Hey! There's no one in this one!" The light that apparently everyone knows about except, of course, me.


Its hard to find, I'll tell you that now. You could be walking around for what will, at the time, seem like a decade searching for a lit up taxi (harder in daylight hours that is) and not find one. Or find yourself a taxi rank, get all excited, only to find all the drivers disappeared and on their lunch breaks.


Though, weary traveler, do not give up hope!  Your taxi will come, will stop and the most delightful elderly man might be behind the wheel. The Brit accent melting your heart.



Frenzied London traffic 
It's possible to learn all sorts of vital information, such as the latest concerning England vs. Australia in cricket or the finest pint of
beer to drink. Everything you need to stay connected with the real world behind the holiday veil.

My last bit of unimportant tips?

Watch the meter! It's a devilishly deceitful piece of technology.